Let’s talk about grief
Over the last few months, like many, I have been riding waves of emotions; trust, anxiety, fear, optimism, gratitude and grief.
My daily reflections and practices have been focused on what it means to truly be present while navigating discomfort caused by an uncertain and unknown future.
Digging deep into my toolkit, I have found some new and old tools that have helped me navigate this time.
However last week, I received some news that sent me into a deep state of grief.
Compounding my feelings of grief about the state of the world, our planet, and humanity; as well as my own grief about my personal losses of health, community and family.
For a moment I felt guilty, I felt shame, that as someone with a strong spiritual practice I should just be able “to mange it”.
I had to remind myself of two of my core values
1) Self-compassion is key when navigating challenging emotions
2) All feelings are valid and deserve a safe container to be expressed in including grief.
Grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind
I’m going to say that again
GRIEF IS A NORMAL AND NATURAL REACTION TO LOSS OF ANY KIND
The problem is that we have all been socialized to believe that these feelings are abnormal and not to talk about them.
Let’s be honest most of us don’t know how to be with grief.
We suppress our feelings of sadness and grief, we push ourselves to be “ok”, to “toughen up”.
We don’t know how to support others in their grief, we skirt around the topic or say things like,” it’s going to be ok”, “stay positive”, “it will pass in time”.
I wonder how differently we would navigate grief if we had been taught at a young age how to be with grief directly.
If we were taught that it is normal to feel and to talk about grief.
If we had been taught that grief, heartbreak, pain are part of the human experience.
That many of our life experiences (major health changes, end of a relationship, miscarriage, lack of a parent present in our lives, loss of trust, loss of safety caused by trauma etc) will lead us to experience grief.
That we will experience several grieving events in our life time (not only ones caused by death of a loved one).
Grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind.
So how are you being with your grief?
I’m doing my best to stay open to my grief, staying open to feeling what I feel, talking about it as I need to, reaching out to friends for support, reminding myself that I am not alone in my experience of grief.
You are not alone in your experience of grief.
If you are looking for a safe container to be with your grief in a collective setting, I will be hosting a Women’s Circle later this month Moving with Grief.
My dear friend Jennifer Faraone End-of-Life Doula and Grief Support Worker with Compassionate Care Collaborators
Details can be found here https://www.eventbrite.com/myevent?eid=116769313159